The A List

Drafting the guest list... an action item dreaded by both brides and grooms alike. It can be fraught with danger and the cause of many a family disagreement or lost friendship. It's a little early for us to be determining our guest list, but we realised we had to formulate a rough idea of numbers to come up with a realistic budget that we can plan for. As I tell our clients, the guest list is a variable expense and food and beverage is a big ticket item, which is why it's good to have a clear estimate in mind in the early stages of planning.

So, not long after the engagement, out came the Excel spreadsheet and the A, B and C columns were born! The idea of classing our friends and family into categories seemed rather ruthless, but there are two harsh realities to accept when it comes to wedding guests: 

1) you are limited by your venue's capacity

2) the cost of food & beverage, bomboniere, transport and invitations can only go up if your numbers do too

Ultimately, no wedding is worth going into irredeemable debt over, so capping the guest list is one of those necessary evils.

I was rather surprised at how our list developed. An initial brain dump of all the names we wanted to invite started the process. At this early stage, we realised there was no way we could accommodate children, so I was already worrying about how to comunicate this to guests (especially as there will be 6 children from immediate family present). In reality, most people are very comfortable with the idea that they'll need to find a babysitter for an occasion such as a wedding, but it still doesn't stop me worrying about offending people. We reworked this into an A list of people we definitely wanted to invite and a B list of people we would like to invite, if space and budget permits. 

A few weeks later we revisited the list and realised we had forgotten a handful of people who lived overseas or interstate. At this stage I reverted to my trusty Facebook friends list to ensure I hadn't forgotten anyone. This is were the C list evolved.

We then didn't look at the list for about 5 months, only to recently reopen the faithful old Excel spreadsheet for a quick re-cap. A bit of distance is great for perspective! In a moment of clarity, the list was quickly rearranged and we found that a number of people who we hadn't seen or spent much time with recently would probably not expect to be invited anyway. I then moved almost all of the B list into the A list - at the suggestion of my fiancé...and much to my surprise! I was being cautious and very aware of not letting the list get out of control. After all, guys tend to need some convincing when it comes to the cost of weddings. However, he very rightly pointed out that I would regret not inviting them as many of them had been part of my life for years. Another reason why I love him! We also realised that the nature of some friendships can change. Some friends on the first draft have drifted away for whatever reason: moving interstate, changing jobs, etc and we have little contact with them now. On the other hand, some friends on the B list have shown so much excitement and happiness about our engagement, we feel it would be silly not to invite them. They're now safely in the A column! We learnt a good lesson here - surround yourself with people who are genuinely happy for you and WANT to celebrate with you. Rather than just inviting people who you think you should.

No doubt we'll review it again in 6 months time, only to find we have lost touch with some on the list, and formed new friendships we don't even know about yet. The fast-paced nature of life, changing careers and the fact that we have both lived in multiple countries and cities, means that the circle of friends will always be metamorphosing. The old 'reason, season, lifetime' adage comes into play with weddings. Sometimes a guest list will be a combination of all 3!

The list is currently standing at a very respectable 90 - just right for the space available...and room for a dance floor. Couldn't do without one of those could we!

Diamond disaster

Munch 'The Scream'

As I feared, disaster almost struck. After being on-site managing a client's wedding I noticed an ever so slight jangling sound when moving my left hand the next day. Was it my watch? No. Was it my bracelets hitting eachother? No (I was not wearing bracelets and thus was clearly sleep deprived which is common for event managers the day after an event!) I soon realised the diamond in my engagement ring was loose....[insert dramatic music here]. Like a child with a loose tooth, I was terrified it would fall out, yet couldn't stop wiggling it to see just how loose it really was.

Fast forward to 3 days later when the ring setter advised I had been, shall we say, a little "rough" with my engagement ring. Oops! I guess I really got over that initial fear of scratching it then! It didn't help, of course, that the ring was too loose. Since becoming engaged I noticed that the ring was getting inreasingly looser and the diamond was often to be found hiding on the palm of my hand rather than proudly sitting atop it! As such, it had developed a few dints and scratches in places where it shouldn't!

Nevertheless, I think wearing my engagement ring whilst working at events was not the smartest idea and have resolved to wear another ring in its place when on-site. In fact it will be my mother's engagement ring. Well, not her actual engagement ring, but her replacement engagement ring which she no longer wears as it doesn't fit her. Why did she need a replacement engagement ring I hear you ask? Her fabulously inquisitive and charmingly enthusiastic young daughter (i.e. me) actually posted it somewhere more than 25 years ago, never to be seen again*. The replacement isn't exactly a 5 carat stunner if you know what I mean, so any potential damage wont be too traumatic. Plus, it means I get to wear something that still has meaning and sentimental value, without worrying about coming home to the 'Aussie Brit' and admitting the diamond went AWOL.

My engagement ring is now firmly back on my hand, two sizes smaller, dint free and more sparkling than ever! Crisis averted.

*As a young girl of around 5 I liked to place money, or other items of importance in envelopes and post them under doors. We also had the misfortune of having a shiny red post box outside our front door. Very appealing to a would-be postman like me! Someone, somewhere must have hit the jackpot when opening up the envelope containing my mother's original engagement ring. Due to my age, my parents forgave me, but I am reminded of the story at milestone events and anticipate its inclusion in a certain wedding speech!

Save the date

Source: Frejm

It's official, the big day has been locked in.....for March 2014! Plenty of time to plan. Unless of course, you're a wedding planner. In which case you like to be organised well in advance for absolutely everything.

To this end, the church has been booked and the reception venue provisionally held. Deciding on where to hold the ceremony was a no-brainer. A cathedral in my home town where my parents and grandparents were married, where I was baptised, where I have been a bridesmaid and attended the weddings and funerals of loved ones will be the ceremony location. My ever-accommodating fiancé was fine with it. He has been married before after all, and had no particular ties to a location in Australia, having grown up in the UK.

On the other hand, it was quite a strange feeling doing reception venue site inspections for my own wedding. Having cast a critical eye over so many spaces for my clients, it was a very different scenario when it came to selecting my own. Ultimately, we went with a space that had the right 'feel' for us. It is perhaps not the space that shows off my beachy home town to its best advantage or a space perfectly designed for events, but it is a space that reflects our personalities and style. A restaurant converted from an old theatre with critically acclaimed food and loads of character - I can picture the photos already!

Now, onto the fun stuff!

Pinaholics Anonymous

Best thing about being a wedding planner?

Having a valid business reason to spend literally hours everyday scouring luscious images on Pinterest.

Best thing about being engaged?

Having yet another valid excuse to spend literally hours everyday scouring luscious images Pinterest.

Source: Marta Writes

Engagements are dangerous things

Source: Karo Rainer

Like many ladies, I was rather obsessed with looking at my engagement ring in the days following the proposal. As time passes, the obsession decreases exponentially, but I still find I can waste many minutes a day staring into its sparkly, multi-faceted loveliness.

It's a funny phenomenon, this staring thing, but every married or engaged female friend I have spoken to has done the same thing. It turns out though, that getting engaged is a highly dangerous endeavour. In the first week, I was constantly staring at it whilst walking down the street (rather hazardous), whilst chopping vegetables (somewhat perilous) and whilst driving the car (downright calamitous).

In addition to constant mindless staring, there is a sudden need to protect the ring from any scratches, dints or general blemishes. After all, they're not exactly cheap or sentimentally replaceable are they? I am somewhat embarrassed to admit I did not let my engagement ring touch the steering wheel the first few times I drove after the proposal, raising my finger in some sort of awkward homage to Victorian tea-drinking etiquette. Whilst I have relaxed my efforts in this regard, I still am mindful not to wear it to the beach or at the gym.

As a wedding planner, I find myself in all sorts of situations where clothing, shoes and accessories can be damaged or ruined. Whether it be crawling around on my hands and knees removing unsightly leaves and twigs from an outdoor ceremony location, up a ladder hanging hanging lanterns or rummaging around in boxes unpacking candles. There are endless opportunities for engagement ring damage, or worse...loss. So, what to do in this situation? The fiancé says the safest place for it is on my finger. Given he bought it, I'll go with his advice for now! 

Sprinting down the aisle

Something I didn't bank on when getting engaged were all the questions. Pandora's box well and truly sprung open. Suddenly, the first question on everyone's lips is "when is the wedding?" Followed closely by "when are you having children?"

Hang on. We only just got engaged. Can't we have some time to enjoy it?

Looking back, I was probably guilty of asking the same question to all my friends and colleagues who showed up with a sparkler on their hand. Little did I know those newly engaged girlies probably found it most annoying.

For a number of reasons (family and friends living abroad, other priorities and of course money) we realised that the wedding wouldn't take place for a little while. More likely two years away, to be exact. The mere mention of waiting two years for our wedding sent some friends and acquaintances into convulsions..."oh no, that's far too long to wait, you should do it within a year".

Really? When did this particular engagement timeframe become official? I obviously missed the memo.

Source: Planning Elegance

Personally, the fiancé and I are kind of enjoying the whole 'being engaged' thing. Whilst we agree the purpose of getting engaged is to get married, and we appreciate that the excitement of friends and family comes with nothing but good intentions,  we're not about to hotfoot it down the aisle pronto because it's apparently what you should do. We want it to be perfect.....and we don't mind waiting for perfection.

Engaged!

So, a few months ago he popped the question. I was completely surprised and absolutely thrilled. I had finally found 'the one' and after almost 3 years together he presented me with an amazing ring and asked to spend the rest of his life with me....what's not to smile about! I couldn't be happier.

Like many young girls, I grew up wanting to be a bride one day, but had never really thought about what it would actually feel like to be one......let alone a bride who is a wedding planner! Follow me on my wedding planning journey and enjoy the ride!

Source: me